Heart to Heart

Happy Birthday Mom!

2011-02-28T16:52:00.000-08:00

Today is my mom's birthday, well actually it is tomorrow, kind of. Her birthday is technically February 29th, but we have to wait till next year to have a true birthday. I love my mom, but don't do enough for her. I was a bad daughter this year and did not get a card out. At least I made a phone call though! I am glad my mom is understanding and does not get upset at these faults of mine. This is just one of the many things I love about her.

I did spend quite a bit of time this morning reflecting on the things I admire most about my mom and love about her. I could go on and on about how caring she is and how self sacrificing she is and how gracious she is to me and all those who don't deserve it. She gives and gives and then gives some more. So many great qualities that I wish I can inherit from her. I wish I knew how awesome she was while I was growing up. I miss her so much!

Another trait that I most admire in my mom is her level of commitment and dedication she has to many things, but most importantly to God and to church. My mom once shared with me that when she was in nurses training at Grand View Hospital, she did not have a car and had to walk everywhere. My mom told me that she walked every Sunday morning, Sunday nights and Wednesday night prayer service, to go to church. It was about a 4-5 mile walk one way. She did this all the time, until some church people eventually picked her up and took her home. My mom would have walked though even if no one offered a ride. Why? She had a level of commitment, I don't see anymore, anywhere. She was determined to do the right thing even if it was hard. Maybe it was cause my mom grew up poor and always had to walk where she wanted to go and learned to be a dedicated person. Whatever the case, I am so proud of her. Most people I know are not like that. The littlest things get them distracted. There are excuses for everything. I am not trying to cut down anyone but just brag on my mom who is an example for us all.

Thank you mom for all you have shown me in life about how to be a committed and dedicated person. Thanks, for you have not just talked the talk but actually walked the walk! Thank you for all the wonderful things that you are and the wonderful things you do!

Happy Birthday!

Are We Rich?

2011-02-07T06:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, during lunch, I asked my middle son Zephaniah a question to see what he would say. I asked him if we were rich? He quickly answered, "No." Then I went on to ask him how many blankets we have in this house. He answered with a crazy number like, 578,000. So I then asked him, how many does he really need to have? He said, one. So I told him then we must be rich. I explained to him that children in Haiti do not even have one blanket to lay on at night and how friends of ours are making blankets to send them so they don't have to sleep on the dirt. Then I asked him how many pillows we have in the house. Again, a crazy number like, 875,437. I asked him how many he sleeps with. He said, two. I asked him if he knew that there are children all over the world who do not even have one pillow for their head. I could tell he was surprised and couldn't really imagine that. I continued with this line of questioning, a little bit more. I could tell he was then getting the point. So I asked him again, "Are we rich?" This time he said, "This is like where the word rich has two meanings." "The first meaning is that you have lots of money." " The second meaning for rich is that you have enough of things."

He surprised me with his reasoning. I really liked how he answered the question. I hope that I can keep this in mind each day, as I struggle with the battle of needs vs. wants. Yes, like Zeph says, I am rich.......I have enough things! Are you rich?

Beach days

2010-04-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

This morning Zeke and I were watching a DVD together and there was a scene from the beach. Right away, Zeke started to sign the word "water" for me and then when I asked him if he wanted to go to the beach again he said, yes, and headed to our front door. Some days I wish it were that easy. Anyone want to take a beach trip with me and Zeke? I think I am going to put one on the calendar.

Homemade Laundry Soap

2009-05-26T09:19:00.000-07:00

My sister in law, Joleen, had introduced me to an amazing home made laundry detergent. Before I tried it, I was a bit skeptical and doubted that it could really clean my clothes as well as the name brands. Something about the old saying, you get what you pay for, kept me from being a true believer. But because I trust her opinion and she said I could save a lot of money I decided to try it.

I went down to my local grocery store and bought the items needed for about 8 dollars. I actually bought 2 bars of the Fels Napta soap so I could have enough for two batches. I did have a hard time finding the ingredients but it was basically cause I was not use to looking for these items. But it was there and I am so glad I decided to try this out. My first time making the soap was easy and it has lasted me almost 3 months. I just made this weekend my second batch of the soap and did not need to spend anymore money cause I still had all the supplies I needed to buy it. In another 3 months all I will need to buy is a .99 cent bar of the Fel's napta soap. I figured out that in 9 months it will have cost me less then a dollar to wash my clothes for each month. I would say that is a remarkable savings. Wow! The only drawbacks that I can see is that it does not have the perfume smells like other detergents have and the clothes dry kinda fast so if you don't get it in the dryer soon it can turn musty sooner. Still overall I really love it and thanks so much Joleen for giving me the recipe.

Now you can make it too! Here is what you need to make your first batch.
1 bar Fels Napta soap. - found in laundry section of grocery store
Borax
Washing Soda - I used Arm and Hammer. Not Baking Soda
5 gallon bucket

Directions:
Grate the Fels Napta soap. I used a cheese grater. Melt it in a pot of boiling water. Then add 1 cup of Borax and 1 cup of Washing soda in the hot water. Stir it all till dissolved. Pour in the 5 gallon bucket. Add enough hot water to fill the 5 gallon bucket. I have other pots on the stove with hot water boiling to make it go faster. Then put a lid on the bucket and let it sit for 24 hours. The soap will come out really slimey like or like goop. Use one cup in every load of laundry.

Happy washing! (if one can be happy doing laundry)

STUCK!

2009-05-04T07:57:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, I feel like this picture. Stuck! I look at my life and my circumstances and feel like life is passing me by. I tend to envy all those who get to go out and do things and in my imagination enjoy all the things that I can't right now. Having a new baby is one of the most challenging things a woman can go through. It gets especially complicated and smothering the more children you have. I'm sure not every mom feels like me and I applaud them. But this type of thinking is very easy for me being at home, changing diapers, rocking babies, making meals, cleaning up a thousand messes only to have more messes made, trying to be so many things at once only to feel like a fail at them all, trying to be that super mom and all the while feeling like the walls are caving in. I wonder what it is like to have the freedom to come and go as you please, to clean a room and have it stay cleaned, to have time to do your nails, shave properly,fix your hair, what is make-up, organize closets,read a book, get caught up on projects, and for me to be able to go and visit with friends and meet new ones. I really want to do more for our church. I want to reach out to so many people and all I have time for is the mundane jobs around the house that never get done anyhow. I could go on and on about how trapped I feel. I know that this is selfish thinking. I wonder how many others fall into this way of thinking. I bet I am not the only one.

Yesterday, Ross and I and Zeke went to a memorial service for a friend of ours, father. We were all given a little pamplet of the service along with some verses and a picture of the loved one. The Scripture that they had on the inside was one of my favorite passages. It was from Ecclesiastes chapter 3. This chapter talks all about how there is a time for everything. A season for everything. I thought about that for a while. I thought about the season of life that I am in. And reminded myself that with every season, it passes and then you are onto a new season in life. It definitely gives me hope. I know I need not to dwell on the negatives with the season of life I am in. I know I need to embrace it and love it and cherish it. Before long I bet I will miss many things about these baby years. Soon I will break free from this feeling of being trapped and be bursting onto another season in my life.

OK, Let's try this again!

2009-04-25T05:52:00.000-07:00

Well, let's see it's been a few years since I have last been in the blog world. I can't believe how fast time gets past you. I never meant to be away from it this long. So I have decided to get back into it.

It is amazing to think about all the things that have transpired since I last posted a blog. Zeph's eye is all better now. He finally has a haircut! We have a new addition to our family. Ezekiel Lavern Johnson. He was born July 10, 2008. We have been so blessed to have him in our family. We all are crazy in love with him. I can't believe we have been so blessed. Xavier is now in the 4th grade, 10 years old and getting so big. Zeph is about to graduate from VPK. Gathering Pointe Church had it's official launch in March 2009. That has been and still is an amazing journey.

I look forward to all that God has planned for me and our family in the days ahead. I am excited to share them here in the blog. I hope you enjoy reading my ramblings here in this blog as well. I promise not to go so long between blogs. Well, I will try to promise!! :)

Trip to the ER!

2007-10-01T06:43:00.000-07:00

We took a little trip to the ER last night. I'm sure just one of many with my boys. Last night at church the kids were running around while we adults finished cleaning up the building we are now renting on Sunday nights. The kids were playing chase which was probably Zeph's idea since he loves to run. Unfortunately, he ran into a dark room and went smack into a table. He tends to get angry when he is hurt instead of crying so when i heard the tears I knew it was not good. Instantly his eye swelled up and looked like he had a large bouncy ball in his eye. Zeph said my eye is falling out!!!! We couldn't see if there was any damage to the eye itself due to the severe swelling so we took him into the Hospital. Thankfully, there was no damage to the eye itself that they doctor can tell and he will be back to normal soon. Although he will look real bad for a while. This morning he has been having trouble bumping into things but maybe now he will slow down a little! NOT!!!! So I guess life at the Johnsons will continue to be an adventure! Stay tuned for more exciting things to come!

We are thankful that God does care about us and watches over us and our kids! We serve a great God!

I Was Scammed!

2007-09-26T06:29:00.000-07:00

I was scammed! I feel so violated! Here's the story! Yesterday, Zeph and I were outside playing baseball and a salesman comes up to me and hands me a flyer. I read over it quickly as he continued with his sales pitch. The flyer said that for today only he was offering a free, no obligation, one room only carpet cleaning. He said that they would clean my largest room free and if we liked them maybe in the future we would use them again. i thought to myself that this was a pretty good deal considering that Ross and I wanted to get our carpets clean anyway. We had actually been looking for a company and wow i found one. The guy didn't really give me a chance to say yes or no, he just took down my address and said that he would be back in a few minutes after he finished asking the rest of my neighbors and told me that several of my neighbors were getting it done too! About a half hour later the doorbell rings and two guys are there. Frank, the original salesman introduces Ross and I to Gary the carpet cleaner. I asked them if we needed to move anything and they said no. that is when i started wondering what was going on. Gary, started to get out all this vacuum equipment and set up for a Kirby Demonstration. What?!!!! This is not what we signed up for! We were not happy! We both had other obligations that afternoon and Ross needed to finish working. The man took over 3 hours to show us the vacuum. He finally got to the punch line and asked if we would buy one. No way can we afford 2000 on a vacuum no matter how good it is! He then tries to get us to consider it if we agree to prolong our payments. We say no! Then he calls his boss, Frank. Frank comes and he spends over a half hour guilting us to buy one. Even told Ross he should be a better husband and buy one for me cause i deserve a clean home. We were trying so hard to be Christlike when all we wanted to do was kick them out on there cans! We were so upset at this point. Finally Frank leaves and Gary agrees to vacuum and shampoo our carpet. We moved one coffee table and that was it. We all had to stay in the kitchen while he worked. He came at 1pm and left at 5pm. A whole day wasted and made to feel guilty by some pathetic salesman. Do not let this happen to you! Beware of anyone promising to do something for free. My vacuum may be horrible but at least I have my pride and decency which those deceitful salesman from Kirby do not have! Do not be scammed!

Solid Rock

2007-08-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

When i was younger my sisters and I, especially Dawn, would love to play an album my parents had titled Solid Rock! We would turn the volume up as loud as my mom would let us and listen to the record. We probably could still sing most of the lyrics today. One of our favorite songs was called Solid Rock! It was referring to Jesus Christ as the Solid Rock in our lives. At the time I didn't think too much about the lyrics as I just loved the vocals this group of 4 men sang. But as I think about it today, I know how special it is to have Jesus as our Solid Rock. Life takes a lot of twists and turns, ups and downs, highs and lows and even when we are down in the pit we can know that God will get us back on Solid Ground. He will guide our footsteps and keep us from falling too deep if we keep our eyes fixed on Him. It is very reassuring to me, especially on the days i feel my foot begin to slip. I love the passage below.

Psalm 40:1-3

I waited patiently for the Lord;

And He inclined to me and heard my cry.

He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay,

And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm.

He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God;

Many will see and fear

And will trust in the Lord.

Awesome!

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!!!!

2007-08-20T06:02:00.000-07:00

I can't believe that again, i sent Xavier off to school. As we waited for the bus, I thought of all the other times I had dropped X off to school or waited with him for the bus. This year it seemed even more exciting and scary as he was starting third grade in a new school and a public school. Coming from private schools before, this is sure to be new to all of us. I am excited for him because he is a good kid and will most likely be a light in a dark world. This morning before we sent him to the bus stop, Ross had a Bible study with him and encouraged him to do his best and to be a Christian example in his class. You can be sure that this mom will be praying for him all day long!

Zeph was very upset that Xavier was gone today. He had a royal fit all the way home from the bus stop. What a sight that must have been for our neighbors! It will be hard on him as he really loves his brother alot. But Zeph will soon get use to it and use to a new schedule with mommy. He will see that now he has control of the TV in the morning and he can do special things with mom that he didn't get to do all the time. The only thing missing for Zeph and I is my grammy, who we use to spend lots of time with when Xavier went to school. I'll talk more about her later! Good luck Xman, we love you and will miss you, but are so proud of you too!

Are you ready for some football?

2007-08-01T05:45:00.000-07:00

Well, it is official! Football season is here! In the Johnson house it means watching every game, college and pro, from practice to preseason to regular season to the playoffs and of course all the bowls! It means listening to stats, predictions, trades, scores, highlights, reviews, pregame shows, hoots and hollers and rants and raves. Please feel sorry for me as i lose control of the remote for 7 months. And if that is not enough football we have Xavier signed up for Pop Warner tackle football. He has mini camp, 2 week every night practice, then 3 days a week plus games. It is a huge committment for kids and families. I don't know how large families can do it. I can't imagine running my kids to football and cheerleading or some other sport all at the same time. If Xavier didn't live and dream about football, I wouldn't really push him at such a young age. But he loves it sooooo much and of course so does his proud daddy! So ready or not here comes another 7 months of football for the Johnsons! I guess it is a good thing that i actually like the sport and enjoy watching my boy play! Go Xman Go!!!!!!!

Scissor Hands

2007-07-30T09:33:00.000-07:00

Wasn't that the name of a movie or something? I bet i am glad i did not see it. Has anybody noticed how expensive haircuts are any more? One of my friends went to a lady who cuts hair in her home and the wash and cut cost 40 bucks! Not to mention tip! I hate handing over our hard earn money to the hairdresser for so much especially cause most of the time i don't like the style! Every since i have been married to Ross about 12 years, yeah, i have been cutting his hair and also my boys. So it is just stubbornness on my part for not going to the hairdresser. When i do go i get it chopped so i won't have to go back for a long time. That is why you will see me with long and short styles often. Well, today, i was standing in the bathroom thinking i really could use a trim to make my hair more healthy, when my hands just took over and grabbed the scissors. Before i knew it there was hair all over the counter and floor. i was wildly attacking my hair. i was out of control. More and more hair was flying around me and i was loving the thrill of being in charge! Finally, i said, that is enough! And it was finished! i threw some gel in it , shook it around and lo and behold.......i liked it! Wow! i just saved myself at least 40 bucks and i am actually happy at the results. After all these years, who knew?

Cheated?!?

2007-07-29T06:49:00.000-07:00

My son always asks me for snacks in the morning. Sometimes crazy snacks before breakfast, like candy, gum and chips. This morning as he was begging me for some chips, (of course i said no) it brought back a memory somehow of when i was young and i loved Pringles potato chips. I remember going down to the store and buying a can and hiding it in my room so my sisters wouldn't eat any of it. I too, probably ate it at weird hours of the day. One time when i was young i was very upset that my mom would not pack us pringles anymore in our lunch. She said they would just get smashed in our lunch sack, which was true. So i got the idea to write a letter to the pringles company asking them to make snack size containers. They wrote me back and said, "thanks for your interest but there was not a demand for snack size...." I was really upset. I felt i was a demand enough. so i went around my neighborhood and church and asked everyone i knew to sign a petition stating that they too would be in favor of snack size Pringles. I was so excited. I just knew they were going to listen now. I even had my State Representative sign. That was icing on the cake for me! He signed his official name. Didn't everyone have to obey those in government? So i sent it in and about a week or two later, received another formal letter thanking me for my time, but no thanks. At least they sent me a coupon for my effort. Years later when they finally did come out with the snack size version, i felt cheated. i felt like wasn't that my great idea years ago? Why didn't they listen to me? Was it just because i was like 10? Shouldn't i get rewarded for telling them so long ago that this was a good idea? Now today when i buy a Pringles can or my boys ask for it, I can't help but cringe a little at how I was dismissed and now they are making money off of that great little idea i had!
Was I cheated?

Crossing Over

2007-07-28T11:59:00.000-07:00

Just recently, i have been faced with a decision. Should i cross over or not? Here's the situation. I have a really good friend who i enjoy spending time with and sharing many personal things with. The only problem is that i haven't crossed that line where i can truly tell her things that bother me. So far we are good friends but i never pushed the line where i speak up about things that i see are a problem for her. I wonder how she will accept criticism from me. Can i do it in such a loving way that it does not seem hurtful. Will i hurt our relationship or strengthen it? It goes both ways too. So far she has never come to me with any complaints or advice, about things i may or may not be doing right. And i know i am not perfect. I want that iron sharpeneth iron relationship and not a only feel good one. I want to be challenged even if it hurts. But i just haven't decided if our relationship is ready to crossover. It is a big risk. In my opinion not every friendship is ready to make that plunge. I know it takes time and trust. I would like to think we are there or close to it but i am standing on the line wondering what to do. Maybe i need a big push!

P.S. Before you start calling me and asking me if this blog is about you. The answer is no and yes or yes and no. You see even if this isn't about you, just the fact that you think it is means that yes, indeed it is about you. You see, most, many, several, if not all my friendships are bordering on this line. Very close but not close enough. So what is the common denominator in this? The answer is me! So don't go crying to your mama, I still love all my friends, i just need to cross over the line and see if i have any friends left!!!!